My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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