But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
