i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
