she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
