drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
