so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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