My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
