I haven't been this sober since birth.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
