she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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