guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
