I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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