its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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