I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
