so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
