but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
