it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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