In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize