I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
