the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
