ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
