why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My penis needs a shock collar
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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