I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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