You made me cry and you don't even care
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
