So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
