Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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