all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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