Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
