thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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