Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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