Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
