I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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