If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
what day is it and did you see me today?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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