I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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