i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Randomize
