That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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