You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
