Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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