rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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