So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
