my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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