Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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