I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Come share oat with me in your robe
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
