I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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