You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
my sisters under your porch take her home
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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