please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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