Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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