We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
