Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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