I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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