If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
