we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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