And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
