we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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