i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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