Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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