I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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